Happy....

3rd Birthday to the boy who refers to himself as "your friend," who gets his Nemo suitcase, grabs my hand and says "I love you. Lets go for a walk," asks his dad "Am I loquacious?" (I had to look it up too) and thinks that dressing up like Darth Vader means stripping down to your Thomas the Tank underwear, putting on your Buzz LightYear boots and carrying a "light saber." Love you Sam!!!

Wild Weekend

One thing I have come to appreciate is how Cali life and my personality fit so well together. Here in California, at least the part that I live in, there is always something to do, some sorta something to be involved in. To some, that sounds exhausting, rightly so. To me however, someone who thrives on people and for the most part is indifferent (within reason) to how time is spent as long as it's with said people; life here is a constant, continuous refueling... if that makes sense. This weekend was crazy- crazy busy and crazy fun!!

Friday night I went flying. That's right flying. A friend of mine is a pilot and invited a group of us to go for a "flight." We left just before sunset and flew until it was dark, landed, got coffee and flew some more. I have never been in a small plane (and by small I mean there were 4 seats including that of the pilot). But it was so fun and beautiful. I took these pictures with my phone (yeah... still haven't learned my camera lesson). It was the perfect evening to fly. The sky was clear and beautiful. We talked of future plans to fly up the coast to a place where you can land on the beach and camp. mmmm- the beach and camping and flying..... dreamy! (although there was some question as to where we put the surf boards for the flight:-)

On Saturday, after a long day of homework, I moseyed on into Pasadena to go swing dancing. Crazy huh?? Ok, I'm going to honest here- I don't swing dance. I merely went with my friend Corrie, who does by the way swing dance... quite well actually, to a special studio something or other. I didn't dance, though I was asked several times and offered a quick lesson by those asking. I thought it better that I observe and then get a lesson or 20 before participating. It was amazing! I learned toward the end of the night, after having been thoroughly amazed by boys flipping girls every which way, that, oh yeah... that guy, he's the West Coast Swing Champion, and oh those two, they dance professionally... and so on. Of course my role of protecting the couch from getting kicked or bumped or run into by crazy dancing fools, with my body was invaluable. Again these pictures were taken with my phone from the comfort of the couch, so the quality isn't that great. I don't think you'll be able to see it, but there is a guy in the green striped shirt with the girl in the striped shirt in the center of the first picture. He's a crazy flipper. My goal is to some day be able to dance with him.... I said goal... as in long term:-)

Friday also happened to be my good friend Alex's birthday! So we had several celebrations. One Thursday night into Friday morning... (ok, this was really just 4 us hanging out talking which lasted later than expected, but we still said Happy Birthday when the clock struck midnight.) One Saturday evening prior to swing dancing, and one on Sunday (which doubled as a youth leader meeting). Who knew turning 34 required such celebrating. No pictures of the parties, but for posterity sake, here's a picture of Alex singing with Sam, his son, last week at a house concert ( I believe the song was one that Sam wrote about sneezing... seriously the kid is turning three).
Now, with all the weekend behind me, it's back to work and back to school. This week is finals week. I had hoped to get my ethics final finished tonight, but you know..... maybe tomorrow. I'm tired!

Update:

Thanks to all who are praying for my family and for Ann. Here's an update on the whole situation.

Thursday afternoon, Ann's mom started telling people that Ann would be staying until Monday. When my dad investigated, he found that was either a miscommunication or a lie. When confronted, Ann's mom exploded and told my dad (using plenty of expletives) to back off. From there a "discussion" regarding Ann's options at discharge began. The mom had been refusing to give up custody, even temporarily, which is why everyone involved was willing to take legal action. When faced with the option of willingly giving up custody or having it taken, the mom decided to give custody to the paternal grandparents. The conversation with the parents and my dad ended like this: The mom: "I know you wouldn't do that, I know its just a threat." My dad: "test me (name) test me, and I'll see you in court." (Can I just stop and say how much I love my dad!!! Watching him fight for this broken girl gives me a heightened sense of respect for him and makes me proud to be his daughter).

I went to visit Ann on Thursday evening. She looked the best I have ever seen her and was in good spirits. She was not thrilled about going to be with her grandparents, but said that it was better than being with her parents. Ann was discharged on Friday and is at her grandparents now.

I think that being with her grandparents is better than being with her parents, but wonder if it is only a temporary fix. It is a better option, but I'm not convinced it's the best. My heart wants her to be with us and knows she will blossom if given the opportunity.

Through all this, Sheli has been amazing! The extent to which she has grown up is astounding. The girl that was once afraid to order a drink at Starbucks (seriously) was able to clearly and confidently tell her birth mother that she was wrong, that she was being selfish and that she is an unfit mother. She was able to tell my parents how she would feel in Ann were to move in. This is so huge!!! Those who know Sheli and her story know that she has lived in fear of having an opinion, fear of voicing her thoughts and was crippled by insecurity for reasons not needing mentioned here. But suddenly, she has seemed more like an adult and less like a kid. I love that girl!!!

Thanks for your prayers, and keep praying. I don't see this turmoil with Ann ending anytime soon.

PRAY:

In my last post I mentioned how crazy busy I have been since I got home from PA. It's also been a bit stressful. Sheli (my adopted sister) has a 15 year old half sister. Her name is Ann. Last week Ann tried to commit suicide. She overdosed, was found unconscious having cut herself 14times. She is doing well physically and is still hospitalized in a locked down psychiatric unit but will be released Friday. I don't think it's wise to share the particulars of Ann's story up to this point, but will say that she is in desperate need of a new home situation. Her parents, (Sheli's mom and her boyfriend), are refusing to make any changes, and plan on taking her home on Friday. Ann has become like part of our family. She is one of the sweet highschool girls I work with at church.

Under no circumstances is it ok for her to return home. She has asked my dad for over a year to try to find her a new home, and has had opportunity to move, only to be told no by her mother. There are three options for Friday's discharge, 1) that she go home with her parents (this will only happen if she agrees), 2)She says she won't go home with her family and she becomes a ward of the state, and enters a group home 3) As the guardian and adoptive parents of her half sister, my parents file an emergency conservatorship with California Child services, and bring Ann into our home. There is one other family (relatives) that are praying about taking her but have not been approved by the state as a fit home so Ann would go to a group home until the state investigation is completed. The courts don't like to split siblings, and since we have Sheli and have already had the (extensive) home study, our house is the easiest choice. Filing for conservatorship means an all out custody war. Having Ann here may not be a good thing for Sheli either. There are a lot of other things that factor in as well. Like where will she sleep, who will share rooms, is it smart to enroll her in the same school as Sheli, can I free up my time to be to Ann what I was to Sheli when she moved in and help her adjust, what lax things will need to be structured until she gets adjusted to having rules.....etc.

Having someone join our family is not new for my biological sisters and I. We grew up having random people find a home in ours for months at a time, many of them wayward teens like Ann. That's what I love about my parents. They welcome people into their home as they are, no strings, and love them. Somehow, we all end up better for it. But having stable home is new for Sheli and so is the thought of someone new. While the rest of know the adjustment is hard, it always works out, Sheli is afraid that the family she waited for for 14 years will be taken away, or change, and she'll no longer be important.

The conservatorship needs to be filed tomorrow (thursday) morning, so this will be a quick decision. My dad and the other relative are meeting tomorrow to pray through what needs to be done and have talked to Ann extensively about it. If you would, when you get a chance, or even right now, please say a prayer for my dad and the decision, for Ann and the outcome. Thank you.

lessons learned

SOOOOOO... I was in PA for a week about a week ago. And yes I'm a slacker, but only in the blog world. But lets be honest... it's not like it's been 2months or anything (eh hemmmm :-). And when the plane landed in Cali, I hit the ground running. I slept a few hours went to work, and then had a week full of community dinner, Pasadena, started a new Bible/book study with the ladies (started an amazing book which I'm sure I'll have occasion to write about in the future) had a house concert, made breakfast for the youth group, taught Sunday school.... oh, and I was/am in school full time.... just thinking about it makes my head spin. Truthfully I still haven't completely unpacked.... alright, no judging my house keeping skills, I'm perfectly content with my clothing chaos. Anyway, all that said, I have been thinking, I need to blog but time has a way of getting away.

So without further ado, here's a bit about my trip to the good ole, good ole. Pennsylvania. My trip had some specific objectives 1) to clean the rest of the stuff out of my house (specifically the basement) 2) to meet my Realtor 3)see family and friends. (2 outta 3 isn't bad right?). It goes without saying that visiting a place you once called home makes you realize some lessons learned. Here are some that I learned during my week:

1) If you want pictures you have to actually use your camera. ummm yeah- I had my camera with me and yet, I had to ask people to email pictures... even then, I still have no pictures of anyone from 1st Friday, my grandparents, my house, Jamie, John, Jeff and Leslie, etc......:-(.... maybe I should take it out of my suitcase next time.

2) My grandparents are like Rose and Noah from The Notebook. Most of you know my grandmother isn't doing well. At times during my visit she thought I was her cousin. That's a huge part of the reason my sister and I made the trip. Anywho- my grandfathers day is dedicated to caring for her. He gladly does everything. He made the comment at dinner "She did everything for me most of my life, this is the least I can do for her." (sigh....) that's love.

3) It is entirely possible for weather to hurt your feelings All I'm going to say is that it's not cool to wear a snow suit when your past a certain age.... trust me on this.

4)Surprisingly, my basement isn't scary especially when you close the door and pretend it doesn't exist, which explains the 2 outta 3.

5)Dutch Wonderland isn't for sissy's. Ok, in my defense, those swings are vicious, especially when preceded by the Dutch Vonder Haus.

6) Never, under any circumstances, eat two Turkey Hill green chili cheese burritos with in a 24hour period. Thankfully, this lesson was learned vicariously.

7) and last but not least I love my friends- Ok- this one I already knew. I have some of the best friends ever who are able to pick up where we left off and talk as though it hasn't been forever.

For those of you I didn't get to see and those whom I didn't get to see long, please know that it wasn't for lack of desire. I think I'd need to move back to spend as much time with as many people as I'd like too. I'll be back soon for sure- my house isn't sold yet (Danielle I saw your comment right before I left. So sorry! Next time, I promise).

P-P-P-Procrastination

I am sitting in Panera here in good 'ole Lancaster. I am supposed to be working on school, but am having a hard time concentrating. Beside me is a rousing conversation about Annemarie and here multiple love interests. I don't know Annemarie, but her sister is sitting at the next table with a friend and is quite excited about the prospect of a new brother-in-law (or two depending on how Annemarie plays her cards from the sound of it).

I have only been here for little over 24hours and have seen some of the people who have been most important in my life. Others, just as important, I have yet to see, some I may not see. As I listen to the exclamation of Matt's love for Annemarie (though she says he's like the 'best friend' of the male lead in a movie) I am struck by the ever changing nature of life and relationships. It is interestingly amazing to see how we grow and move in and out of worlds, how we are shaped each in our own time, with our own set of choices and circumstances, with our own purpose and direction, how it doesn't ever look the way we think it should or the way anyone else thinks it should. How growth can be uncomfortable, sometimes painful, to some extent un-understandable to anyone but the One that growing us and how that's okay. How friendships can be intense and short while others ebb and flow with grace and strength that grows lifetimes. How each are important and each have their distinct purpose, seen or unseen. And how we are never as lost as we think or feel we are.

I drove through Lancaster last night and smiled at all the sweet memories I had of different places, with different people, but I also smiled at the hard parts, the dreams unfulfilled, prayers seemingly unanswered, feelings of awkwardness, the trying to figure out who I was. My journey thus far has not been a straight shot from point A to point B, but a maze of wonderings often doubling back on itself, going left when I should have gone right, speaking when I should have been silent, offering too much or not enough.... but it is my journey none-the-less, and I am overwhelmed by God's goodness.

As for Matt and Annemarie, the sister doesn't give it much hope and neither do I. The best friend to the male lead in a movie doesn't typically get the girl, I don't think that's going to change anytime soon.