The Birthday Edition

Today is my 29 birthday, or as I like to refer to it, the 9th anniversary of my 20th birthday (that would probably be more appropriate because I feel more like a 20 year old then someone who just turned 29). I tried (am trying- it's only 3pm here) to fill my day with a few of my favorite things. I wish I would get all Oprah and start handing out 200$ bath robes, sorry, I don't roll like that, well, my bank account doesn't roll like that:-) I got up early (who says 7am isn't early) and started with a birthday text from a girl in my old youth group. I was a youth director at a church in Lititz for 4 years before coming to crossway. I haven't seen Diane in 2 years, or talked to her in a year, but she remembers my birthday every year! When I decided to make my way to the kitchen I had a delicious breakfast burrito made by a connoisseur of breakfast foods: me. (side note: I seriously love breakfast foods! Last year at this time I ate blueberry pancakes everyday! And nothing makes my mouth water like a warm stack of French toast...... mmmmmm I can almost smell them now. I've been known to go the Lyndon diner at midnight just to feed this obsession. So if you ever wake up at 2am with a hankering for a greek omelet or a short stack, give me a call!) I have been having these burritos everyday for the past week. Its like a refrigerator treasure hunt. I dig through the fridge and freezer looking for ingredients. So far my fav. is egg, onion, mushroom, spinach, and turkey bacon topped with cheese and salsa all wrapped in a warm flour tortilla. And Dana- no I don't think asparagus would taste good in a breakfast burrito.

After I ate the tasty goodness described above, I went to Target to "meander" around. I try not to "meander" in Target too often, it only leads to unnecessary spending. Today was no exception. I purposefully didn't get a cart, thinking that I wouldn't be able to carry much. But I've come to the conclusion that my arms actually grow longer as soon as I enter that store. A group of scientists are looking into it. Before I knew it I was in the dressing room trying on lots of things I didn't need, ie, a bathing suit cover up, hello- it's January! Thankfully, I heard the voice of Star (in my head) saying "don't buy too much, I don't expect you to be that size long." I think that women will haunt me to my grave:-) So with that, I hung the cover up back up and left. I made it out with only a necklace, some tanks for the gym and a "goal" outfit..... oh and some lotion. My next stop........ Starbucks.

I have gotten in the habit of going to Starbucks to read on my days off. I really enjoy this habit. It's been pretty easy on the wallet because of all the gift cards I got for Christmas this year. Worth mentioning here is that Starbucks has brought back their Cinnamon Dulce latte- IN SUGAR FREE!!!!!!! to that I say "thank you may I have another." I got a book called Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell for Christmas. It's an obscure title but he does well at explaining what he means by it. Mr Bell is a pastor of a sister church to the one my uncle was pastor at before he moved to Rwanda. I just started the book today and though I only got through the first 25 pages, my initial response is that it's worth the time to read. During the first chapter he mentions something about God saying "I am all that I am" in Job which made me think about doing a devotional on the book of Job (I love Old testament studies..... they can be so rich. Lori and I started our Saturday morning breakfast tradition over a book study of Isaiah...... which we have yet to finish:-). With this new "inspiration" I gathered my things and went to another dangerous place..... the book store!

It took me a little while to find the individual book Bible studies but when I did, let me tell you, I could not just pick one. It wasn't the names of the actual books of the Bible that got me, but the sub-titles. Besides Job, I got Nehemiah: the courage to face opposition (I love, love, love the book of nehemiah), Hosea: Gods Persistent Love and Ecclesiastes: chasing after meaning. Each study is supposed to last twelve weeks; so, I got a year of devotional material in one day! fortunately these studies only cost about 5$ and I'm sure the benefits will far out weigh the cost!

The next place I headed was not necessarily a favorite place as much as a much needed one. I went to the gym in an attempt to offset the large quantity of lasagna and chocolate ice-box cake (a delicious family recipe) I plan on eating tonight. Birthdays aren't huge deals in my house, but my mom does cook anything we request for dinner. Call me crazy, but I requested Costco lasagna and bread..... lots of bread. I tried to do a work out worthy of Star and don't plan on looking at the nutritional info on anything I eat after 5:30!

Which brings me to this moment....... sitting in front of the computer, desperately in need of a shower, showing my sister my great target buys. Whats on the agenda for the rest of the day? you ask..... aside from a shower and lasagna, a dance dance revolution tournament (the video game with a floor mat where you have to follow the moves on the screen) organized by Sheli (I don't even stand a chance with a belly full of pasta and chocolate). We try but have yet to succeed in getting my Dad to participate..... maybe tonight:-)

Not much has changed and nothing exciting has happened since my last post. I've had the last three days off due to a scheduling mishap..... but believe me, I'm not complaining! I go back to work tonight and tomorrow night. The weather here has been beautiful! It was almost 80 degrees yesterday. Cali weather is great because there is no humidity..... which means less sweat and I for one an thankful for that (so are those standing next to me:-)

I got my schedule yesterday for next month and am a little bummed. I occasionally help with the youth group a church here. Every year they go to winter camp in the mountains. I was supposed to be a couselor, but they wouldn't give me the weekend off:-( I love going to camp! Especially this camp. When I was 14 my parents sent me there to do voluntary service for the summer. I was a wild, rebellious, angry child into things no 14 year old should be into. My parents didnt trust me home during the summer since they both worked. So they figured in the middle of nowhere surrounded by Christians was better than being unsupervised with the people I had chosen to hang out with at home. It was there that I got saved. I ended up spending a total of 5 summers there at camp and was on staff doing the cooking my last summer (explains why when I cook I make enough for 250 and it all tastes like camp food:-) I'm still good friends with people I met there. Some of them were going to be there as counselors too. I hoping to be able to trade days with someone so I can go. Sheli has already requested a spot in my cabin, crazy girl!

Well friends, I hope you all have a great weekend! I gotta go pack my lunch and take a nap for tonight!

Call me Angelina

We don't feed her much

Most of you know I had been planning on going to Africa this summer (my aunt and uncle that used to live in New York moved to Rwanda in Nov. My uncle works for World Relief, a large Christian Humanitarian org. He is the country director for Rwanda and oversees the various "arms" of the ministry from micro-finance, to child immunization and aids treatment, prevention and education). My sister April and I were going to travel there together and spend a month with them. My uncle has tons of stuff lined up for me to do with the doctor that oversees the Aids programs. But due to the timing of my contracts, I decided to go a year from now.... over my 30th B-day! What better way to spend my 30th then fulfilling a life long dream (for those of you who have never heard... I have ALWAYS wanted to go to Africa (call me Angelina Jolie) and be a missionary. Even when I was little. I used to tell my mom I wished that I was born black- CRAZY!). Anyway- all that to say, I am totally siked (how do you spell that??) and want to make wise financial and job decisions now so that going on the trip won't be stressful.


A week and a half ago I told you about my "go getter" recruiter who had offered an extension to the hospital with out my knowledge (she's already trying to book me for the summer! I feel like a rock star:-). She was pretty persistent about me working a full 13 weeks with out time off (which would have meant a contract that ended in May). After much conversation with my family I decided to only stay until the middle of April (april 21st to be exact), when I'll be heading back to PA. The jury is still out on my summer plans; whether I'll stay and work, travel and work, rent, sell, or live in my house. I can use all the prayer I can get!

Oh- And everyone has an open invitation to come and visit!!! My family loves guests! So please feel free to book your tickets now, just give me a little advanced warning to I an get off work:-)

The break up and other honest ramblings

I've decided to end a relationship that Ive let go on for too long. I've tried to end it with this person before but I always get suckered back in by promises of smaller sizes, and skinny arms I love this person but have realized that seeing them is costing me too much right now. So, next week is my last week with Star:-( For those who don't know who she's my trainer here and I've been seeing her for over a year. I love her to death, she's been a great friend and encouragement, but simply put, she's expensive! The truth is, I know what I'm doing at the gym, I mean after a year, I know what works for me and what doesn't, I'm just not good at pushing myself (seriously ball squats, walking lunges and push ups are no fun unless there is someone there to laugh with you when you do them and even then I wouldn't consider it a good time). But now, I have to be super disciplined about the gym and working out and am going to have to push myself......... say a prayer it could get ugly:-)


The decision came after a couple of talks with my dad about finances and future plans. Both of which can be touchy subjects when not dealt with gently. Its very foreseeable for me to be out of debt in the near future if I give up things like Star (or Dave when I'm in PA) that are not necessities (what is a necessity and what's not can be a area of disagreement). My dad is also encouraging me to think and pray about renting my house out and take advantage of the housing offered by the agency I work for. His rationale (in addition to helping me become completely debt free) is that I would be free to travel if I wanted to and wouldn't have to worry about it every couple of months. One plus is that they furnish the apartments so no more couch on wheels! The thought sort of scares me. I already have a sense of homelessness, spending time on each coast but I always think of the house as what "grounds" me, a place that's mine and giving that up, even if it just renting it out means losing that. I know it sounds crazy because it's just a house but I start to think "where is home?" or worse "where do I belong?" neither of which I can answer. Not to mention, moving all my stuff out and getting it ready to rent completely overwhelms me.

I would be crazy if all this talk of "future" and "home" didn't make the single part of me scream "go where there is a chance" (of marriage of course:-) Another area of contention in my heart and mind. I am quite content being single now. I love my family, my job, my friends, the freedom. I love traveling and being in a new place, at a new hospital, starting new jobs and learning new skills is a challenge. I would also love to be married and settled. I've heard it said (repeatedly) that it's going to be hard to meet someone when I don't stay in one place long. So the question that plaques me is this; is it wiser to settle down and wait patiently for something that may or may not happen (or better put, may not be ordained by God to happen) or continue living this "rich single (and homeless) life" that may mean I'm single longer? Is it foolish to give up this oppurtunity for what may not happen?? And do I have to settle down to wait patiently or can I wait patiently and live bicoastally too?? Does walking down one path, completely close the other? Will I regret choosing either?? I've heard it said that a woman makes her plans for life and a man interrupts them at the ordained time. Are there still men out there bold enough to interupt?

Feel free to weigh in here.... I'd love to hear any and all opinions on the subject.

"All things are possible to him who believes, they are less difficult to him who hopes, they are easer to him who loves, and still more easy to him who practices and perseveres in these three virtues."

-Brother Lawrence

Sweet Sleep

I just got off work and I'm exhausted!! I can't believe it's Wednesday already. Where does the time go?? I don't mind night shift much when I live with my family except that my sisters can be quite loud at times... usually when I'm trying to sleep. It's nice because there is always someone to let the dogs out at night and I get to eat dinner with my family before work. The only problem is that the week flies by. You go into work on Tuesday and come home on Wednesday. Crazy!!

I have tonight off and then go back to work on Thursday:-( But then I have a four day weekend :-) Yippee!!! Dana asked me to go swing dancing with her this Friday (you can stop laughing now!). She takes dance classes somewhere and has been swing dancing for awhile. Her and a bunch of friends go, (I think mostly to meet guys). I guess last week they all bailed on her, I told her that I would have gone but I don't swing dance..... wrong move- the club offers lessons before it opens. When she told me that, I had visions of country line dancing at Low Places (Lisa and Laura you know what I'm talking about!). Never fear friends, I'm going to for-go the lessons and "free style." That will ensure that I don't get re-invited anytime in the near future! (okay truth be told I'm kinda excited... I think it'll be sortqa fun)

With that I'm off to bed......... mmmmmmm bed!

The Ace Up My Sleeve

No, this isn't a reference to my card playing ability. Anyone who knows me, knows I have none. Whether it's inability or just plain refusal to learn; poker is beyond me. I have no idea what a full house is unless you're talking about how I grew up. If you don't believe me, ask Lane about my card playing "prowess" or lack there of. I'm referring to my "plan B." My secret "just in case" plans in the event that things don't work quite right. A back-up plan, or sort of insurance policy to ensure my happiness- If not this then that, if not one then the other. I have one for almost everything and every situation, down to hairstyles and outfits. I'm admittedly a girl that feels the need to have options, regardless of whether they're viable. Usually these come in handy until they don't.

This week, amidst the business, fun and sleep deprivation, I had an issue where things didn't go how I thought they should. I pulled out that ace and called "all in" and still lost. My 'plan B' was thwarted, leaving me stumbling and stunned. What happened next wasn't pretty. The deep reservoir of sin, selfishness and anger that fills more of my heart than I care to admit, exploded and came pouring out of my mouth in an abundance of hurtful word vomit directed at the one whom I thought was doing the thwarting. My temper tantrum alienated them and regretfully hurt them more than I know, and for that I am sorry.

So as I lay in bed last night (I got off work early) listening to Bear snore and Sids muffled barks while dreaming, with about a gallon of coffee coursing through my veins, unable to sleep. I was stewing about what plan 'C' should be, upset that I couldn't think of one, frustrated because I couldn't take back what I said, and looking for away to make amends when the Lord intervened. Taking credit for the thwarting, revealing the ugly truth about my plan 'B's (C,D,E,F and G for that matter); that plan 'b' not only put my feelings, wants and desires above anyone elses, but that they show only dependence on my own ability and absolutely no trust in Him. I replaced His sovereignty and providence with what I thought was a better plan. He quickly reminded me that I have no aces and that my plans will always leave me stumbling, stunned with my face in the dirt when they fail to yield the desired results (and they never will). That I am completely utterly not in control.

Kim- I would love to get a cup of coffee with you. In honor of the year anniversary of your visit. I think you should come out again. I love and miss you girl!!!

SLO & SNOW

First let me say that I realized yesterday that I can't spell... (Those of you reading realized that a long time ago but whatever) Its San LUIS Obispo, not LOUIS (I also had trouble spelling Hearst Castle.... thanks for the spelling lesson david:-) Second.... please excuse the randomness of the picture placement and order... I'm having trouble with the blog layout, I'm computer retarded.... Sara help me please!!!! My trip up the coast yesterday was wonderful!! The weather was beautiful, the conversation was great, and the food was delicious! David (the guy in picts and the friend I was meeting) and I met outside of a starbucks around 1pm and immediately sought food. It's a four hour drive from LA up, he was coming from San Francisco which is a four hour drive down. Because Cali traffic is ridiculous we both arrived late and starving. We found a little cafe and had lunch and then decided to head up to Hearst castle to take a tour. It's 45minute drive up the coast to get there. (I know that I have seen the California shore line a ton, but there is something about it that always takes my breathe away! I think its because it's like the mountains and the ocean collide). The Hearst Castle was a great idea but we got there about 15minutes after the last tour left:-( We ended up driving up the coast for the afternoon and stopping at random places to take pictures. I think I took a million pictures.... okay, at least 30. David is an amazing photographer and showed me some stuff on my camera that I had no idea about. He's going to send me some pictures to post soon. It was SOOOOO cold and windy but was well worth it. For dinner we found this great restaurant, Koberl on Blue...mmmmmmmm wine and chocolate! (if you ever have the chance to venture to California central coast I recommend the Chocolate Lava Cake..... definitely dreamy PMS food!) After a chilly walk back to the car and a drive around the city we left to drive our respective directions. It was already 10pm. I think that I probably should have stayed the night. I was so exhausted shouldn't have been driving. Unfortunately I couldn't because I regretfully made and appointment with Star at 8:30am (ouch!). Thankfully I made it home safely, (extremely tired and not just a little cranky, I might add, sorry BDD:-)

Even more thankfully, Star called this morning at 7am to cancel our appointment because she had the stomach flu.... I've never been more relieved to hear that someone had the flu in my life!!!! The crazy thing is that when I finally rolled my butt out of bed around 9:30 this morning, there was SNOW on the ground!!!! SNOW!!!! In So. Cal..... so much for heading to warmer weather for the winter!!! CRAZY!!!!!

PS- Sara- seriously.... HELP ME!!!

The Pressure is on!

Happy Wednesday friends!!! It's 8:30 here in So. Cal. My contract here is three weeks over already! (why does time seem to go faster the older we get?) And I'm beginning to feel pressure about where to go next from an unexpected place..... my recruiter! For those who aren't familiar with how what I do works- I have a recruiter that works as a liaison to set up contracts for me. My original recruiter accepted another position about month ago so I was assigned a new one. While she's nice, she seems to be QUITE pushy! We had talked last week about a few options to which I said I wanted to talk to my family, and the director of the hospital I'm at now and then would get back to her. Being the "go-getter" that she is, she put in an offer to the hospital to extend my contract here Cali, not just for a few weeks or a month, but for the whole 13 weeks! I was stunned when she called today.... I hadn't even talked to my family yet.
Whats worse is I had no intention of extending for a full 13weeks.... I want to be home in time for little baby Randolphs arrival! So the pressure is on!!!!!! I have until tomorrow morning to decide if I'm staying, how long I'm staying and if I stay when would I want time off! Luckily I'm not committed to anything at this point.... at least I don't think so! SO if you read this between now and tomorrow (first of all what are you doing up so late, don't you work??) please say a prayer for me!!


Tomorrow I'm going to San louis Obispo (SLO) for the day!! Should be exciting! Hopefully I'll have so great picts to post!

Happy Birthday!!!

Mom and the girls

Sheli, Dana, Grandma, me and April


Ahhh- My life has been non-stop since the last time I posted! Last Friday was my Grandma's surprise 70th birthday tea. Obviously that is what the pictures are from (no I don't usually walk around in a tiera although the thought of doing so had occurred to me:-) All the granddaughters wore a tiera or flower thing (sheli hated her tierra) and other ladies wore hats. The scary part is that all hats and tiera's were provided by the tea house. Lice anyone??? It was fun! I have to say thought that the "food" they serve for lunch at a tea party is pretty slim. I left early to go home and sleep (I had to work friday night) and missed the cake. That's okay... I don't really need anymore butt Spackle:-) (quick question for any smart person reading. How do you spell tiera? is it tiarra, tierra, or tiera?? Spellcheck hates all my versions!)

I worked all weekend (ok friday and sat). I got home on sunday morning exhausted but decided to only sleep a few hours because of something important happening during the day....... A sale at Banana Republic!!!! Unfortunately my sleep sacrifice was useless because I couldn't find anything at Banana that I really liked. Never fear, I walked my tired, sleep deprived self over to New York and Co and found some lovely non sale items- A few of which I'll be returning! I did learn an important lesson..... never buy a kimono looking shirt with only two hours of sleep- you'll regret it later when you realize that orange really isn't your color!

My week is going to be crazy too! I go back to work tonight:-( One day off between nights (esp when that day was spent shopping) never feels restful. I work on tuesday night, wednesday I see Star (ouch) and am going to see Dreamgirls (for the second time) with my friend Jodi (her second time too:-) You all need to see it- it's so good!!!!! Thursday I'll be driving up the coast to San Louis Obispo/Carmel to meet a friend. It's a four hour drive along the coast that I hear is beautiful! I've never been anywhere north of here. My parents got me a digital camera for chirstmas so I'm pretty excited about the picture taking opportunities even though it's supposed to rain. Then it's back to Star and work on friday.

that's all for now! I'm heading back to bed! Love you guys!

Oh so sunny California

76 DEGREES ON JANUARY 2ND!!!!! How can I not love this place? I took this picture yesterday while driving home from the gym...... sssshhhhh don't tell. (The law is no talking on your cell phone while driving; it says absolutely nothing about picture taking! It has been remarkably warm here this week. Thankfully I brought some flip-flops with me!
There is something to be said for a winter wonderland though. On the drive out two weeks ago I got to see snow falling for the first time in 2 whole years! I was so excited. Jamie and I were driving through Flagstaff Arizona which could possibly be one of the most beautiful little towns in the United States. We stopped there for the night. When we arrived at our La Quinta (which had the best breakfast and most comfortable beds that I have even encountered in a hotel!) there was about two inches of snow on the ground. By morning there was about three. I couldn't sleep so I got up and took the dogs for a walk. It was still dark and the sky was clear. Beautiful!!!! The next day we set off an drove through every climate you can imagine. It was 11 degrees when we hit the open road, which soon turned into 40 when we hit the desert. By the time we got to Upland in was in the 60's!

I am exhausted this evening! I worked last night and only slept a few hours today before hitting the gym with sister April. My whole family have turned into gym rats. My dad, after a year of talking about joining the gym, finally did! Only instead of getting the typical month-to-month membership, he buys three years up front! Crazy! When I got home from work at about 8:15 this morning he had already been there and back and was on his way to the office (He's a pastor so his office is just across the church parking lot). My mom, who has always been a fan of exercising, goes mid -morning. She says she needs her coffee and breakfast before she even thinks about a treadmill (right there with ya mama!). My sisters Dana and Sheli usually head up there in the early afternoon (this week, school starts again next monday) while April and I are evening people (after a trip to starbucks.... hey energy drinks come in all forms!). We both agree that the crazy people come out after dark so there is more entertainment.... sad but true!

On my agenda this evening is nothing ambitious. I need to clean my room and then sleep as long as I can.... unfortunately thats usually only until about 7am. Tomorrow I have an appointment with Star- the trainer that is worthy of a job on the biggest loser. I absolutely must get my eyebrows done- When they're growing down your face like a beard its time to take some action!

No I'm not Vain

So I guess I have to post a picture of myself to be able to get it on the profile..... So here it is!

Happy New Year (take 2)

It's New Years day and my resolution is to actually post something with out crashing the computer (or have very large pictures of the dogs in the middle of the post which is what happened on the first take!). I actually think that this blog thing is kinda cool. I feel like Hillary Duff in the movie The Perfect Man although I'm not trying to hook my mom up with a hottie, nor am I in high school hoping to go to the prom but whatever- let a girl dream!

Seriously though- I think New Years can be a little depressing and not just because the only one that I had to kiss last night was my dog Sid! By this year I had hoped to have all my debt paid off, all the extra weight lost and to have fallen in love with a hunky man (okay, he didn't even have to be hunky) with whom I would have run off to the Mexican Riviera to live in bliss. Admittedly some are more realistic than others:-) I am not even close to being debt free, closer maybe. I have lost a lot of weight but I still have those nagging 10-20lbs (okay 45lbs) left to lose. And if I have fallen in love in the past year I wish someone would tell me because this doesn't look like the Mexican Riviera!

It was with this defeated attitude that I went to Starbucks, journal and devotional in hand. As I sat sipping my delicious Cinnamon Dolce Latte (which has returned today after going on Hiatus last February !!!) contemplating failure. I started rereading journal entries and realized all that had happened over the past twelve months, all the friendships gained, dinners around the table with my family (who would have thought an attainable resolution would be "This year I want to gain a sister"?), laughs that I've had at work, being able to live "bicostally," having friends that are will to take the ridiculous three day cross country drive with me AND two dogs (who wouldn't want to take a trip with those adorable boys?) , and of course the lessons the Lord taught me about my sin and His Holiness. If 2007 is even half as full as 2006 I have been blessed beyond my wildest imagination!